[Coronadiaries] Tutorials and courses (Lucas #2)

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Dear diary,

Things are not looking good. Yesterday I went out for a random hookup, had sex and came back home. When I arrived, I found Kalie practicing some makeup tutorials on Blake. I hate to say it but they looked so God damn cute. I felt bad of thinking about leaving the house, the relationship.

«Lucas, we’re supposed to stay indoors!», shouted Kalie. She was right, I lifted some groceries that I grabbed on my way home and said I had to pick up some stuff from the supermarket.

«What did you bring?», Blake asked, his eyes were closed, he had a bright purple color with glitter all over his eye lid. If it weren’t for that, he would be giving me the same menacing look Kalie was.

«Eh, just some stuff I need for to survive», I smiled, hoping they wouldn’t notice anything strange.

Kalie just kept staring at me.

«Did you bring us anything?», she then changed that dead serious face into a smile, I hate when she does that, she can scare the shit out of Blake and I.

«Not really…», I took a step forward.

«Kalie, are you almost done, sweetie?», said Blake, with his eyes still closed.

«Eh, not really, babe», she looked at me and moved her hand giving me a signal to get closer. I did.

«How does he look, hun?», she wrapped her arms around my hips. She’s a total sweetheart. Blake looked amazing, with that heavy makeup and his beard, his big lips and that awesome and shiny brown hair.

«I just fell in love with him again», I smiled and the two of them laughed. Blake opened his eyes and looked at me. Seeing them there, made me think. I couldn’t believe I was in a relationship with two of the most gorgeous people I knew.

«Lucky, let me just finish up with Blake and then it’s your turn», she smiled at me. Ugh, Kalie’s eyes, Blake’s eyes. What did I just do? Do I really want to leave?

Later that night, after watching Van Helsing, the three of us were cuddling and we almost had sex. We didn’t. I cried like a baby, they both got pretty scared, but they just hugged me until I stopped crying. I had to make up something: I said I was going to miss my family and that I felt overwhelmed about the pandemic thing; but it wasn’t that, I just felt awfully bad for what I did that afternoon.

They’re still asleep. I should find a tutorial on how to face my fears or a course on how to figure out what the fuck I want.

Lucas

27/03/20